Perf

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Perf is a low-ranking wizard who has only three spells memorized: Mend, Vague, and Conjure Milk.

Oh. I see them.

JQS1: Perf tries to run from the party, particularly Glorion, who is physically abusive. Glorion catches Perf and beats him under the guise of "encouragement," and the party soon sees the Temple. While searching, Nara finds a riddle pillar. Carrow and Perf quickly solve the riddle, "a river," and Glorion rushes off to kill the river. Perf uses this opportunity to run again. Carrow catches Perf near a large tree to warn him about the orcsigns, and Carrow is killed by arrows. Nara appears and demands that Perf heal Carrow. Perf tries the spell "Breath of Life," but the spell fails, rotting Carrow's body instead. Perf speaks orcish to their assailants, and when that fails, he and Nara run until they fall into an underground room. There they find the Sword of Fighting, and it falls into Perf's hands.

He is now the Chosen One.

The Sword of Fighting transports Perf and Nara to the nearby orc camp, where it antagonizes the orcs. Perf tries to bluff, but Rilk sees through, and Perf conjures milk at him. Perf surrenders until their Shaman, Kurn, threatens Nara. Perf participates in a wizard's duel, throws a rock, and Shaman Kurn explodes. The orcs fight back, and Perf's clothes are ripped off, exposing his "Meat Henge" tattoo. The Sword battles the orcs with ease, Carrow appears, and with the orcs defeated, they continue.

They are captured by the Assassin, on a bounty from the Wicked Kings. Perf runs and manages to throw the jerk sword into the river. The Assassin catches up.



We've all been there.

JQS2: The Assassin leads Carrow, Nara, and Perf through Sumber, the City of the Dead. As zombies close in, Perf has a chance to run away, but chooses to come back to save drugged-Nara. The Assassin recaptures Nara and Perf, and they enter a mausoleum. Inside they meet Strong like Bull, who (after leading the three non-orcs into a corpse worm ambush) recognizes Perf's ability to retrocast and the Sword of Fighting. The Assassin takes all hostage, and they continue through the woods. After encountering Carrow, Carrow summons an angel. The Sword of Fighting is excited to fight an angel and it uses Perf's body to wield it. After being retied, Strong Like Bull encourages Perf's retromancy, and Perf is able to free them. The assassin returns, Carrow frees Nara, and the Assassin escapes via magic, leaving behind her clothes.

Perf gives Nara medicine to help with her headaches and creates a flower crown for her, but isn't able to admit his feelings. The Sword mocks him.



JQS3: While Perf, Nara, and Carrow are traveling, they encounter some ogres guarding a bridge. Perf attempts to negotiate, but this backfires into a fight. The party comes across a dwarven mining village, and Perf is drawn to the tavern. In the tavern he meets the proprietress, Daggie, who flirts desperately with him. When Nara comes to retrieve him, Perf refuses, and eventually Daggie helps him up to her room. Perf and Daggie kiss, but Perf is unwilling to continue due to his feelings for Nara, and they stop. They start up again, and Nara interrupts them, stealing Perf. Perf wants to quit the quest. (As Nara and Daggie diss-battle, Perf sits down.) Also in the tavern, Perf meets Silver Tom and gushes more than a little.

Perf drinks water as the bar closes. The Assassin captures Nara to lure out Perf. Perf trades himself for Nara, and Carrow rescues him. Perf and Nara travel to meet Carrow, then to the Oracle. Perf wastes two questions, and Nara steals the third.

See the Oracle page for Perf and Nara's questions and their answers.

Carrow is angered after learning about they didn't figure out how to heal him, cuts trees with his new shadow powers, and eventually runs after Perf and Nara retreat back into sacred ground.

Perf and Nara try to find Carrow again and talk by the campfire. Perf confesses his feelings to Nara by showing her his new spell. He sings! He advances to orange robe. Nara says nah and Perf leaves.

"My sodding name is Henley." --Perf/Henley

Perf decides to go to the Wizardium to have the "curse" of the sword removed. On his way, Glorion finds him. Perf duels Glorion with his spells, and wins! But the Sword of Fighting hits Perf in the head, Perf falls, and Glorion stabs him in the stomach. Some lady (Wren) tells him he can't die.

Perf wakes, undead, and comes face to face with the Pale Lady.

He runs.



Another description can be found on the Dead Gentleman's Wiki.

Played by Christian Doyle.